Jasmine Hart

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This is really beautiful. It flowed very well and the sentiment came across strongly. The final line was very effective. ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This is really lovely. Your imagery is strong and works well, and I especially enjoyed "The light creeps into the ...

Hi, This flows well and I love your use of couplets. The violent and concise beginning really drew me in. I especially enjoyed: "The rolling of the sea has become ...

Hey Snoink, This flows well and you make the restrictive form work. I really love "The land shall bloom like old." I just have minor quibbles to do with the ...

Hi, This was lovely. The imagery was great and it really engages the senses. I love the alliteration of "cold clarity", and "tendrils of mist" is great. I love the ...

Hi, This was beautifully written. The opening line was very effective and it flowed well as a whole. I especially enjoyed: "It made your eyes grow cold, And you've forgotten ...

Hi, I really enjoyed this. The tone was excellent, it flowed very well, it had great power and energy behind it. The language used really complimented the style. I especially ...

Hi Dark Blue, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This is structured beautifully and flows very well. I love how the language gets more solid as this ...

Hi Mustang, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This is really lovely. I especially like the last two lines; they're very beautiful. As a whole, the poem ...

Hi JackRussell, This is really beautiful. You handle the form perfectly and use language and imagery with precision. I love how you specify the color of the flowers. My only ...

Hi Crimsona, I really enjoyed this. The opening snipped of dialogue instantly drew me in. Your imagery works well and it flows nicely. The speaker's voice comes across very well. ...

Hi Shauna Jay, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This flows beautifully. I love the use of short sentences-they gave the poem a great immediacy which really ...

Hi, This flows nicely and you handle the form well. The tone is consistent throughout. I think it would be interesting to try this without the archaic language - it ...

Hi Lilicia, You have some nice imagery here. I really liked; "Crushing the drunken bluebells." I'd change "with" in the first stanza to"at" as I think it sounds better. I'd ...

Hi, This flows smoothly and the final stanza in particular is very beautiful. I'd put a comma after "use" and "me". I'd try adding more concrete imagery. Turn it outwards ...